Ground control to Major horse

Cast your mind back to the late 80′s and early 90′s – the days of “get outta that garden” and “shake a shamrock”…….Italia 90, Penalties against Romania…pre-boom Ireland…..these were the days of Football – with National team success replicated by the days of Oasis FC success – the antidote to the dismal economic situation at the time..

I was indirectly brought back there while on a taxi run to the mother-in-law….(a great source of ham salad sambos in her day)…and filling in time, I took the opportunity to have a goo at the local paper..which had a curious advert from the council – but first let me put things in context :

There was always a bit of craic, back in the day, among the illustrious players of Oasis FC – and one phrase in particular was spawned at a pre-match get together..where we would congregate on Jordans sofa and watch Saint & Greavsie – just to get us in the mood.

What was that phrase, I hear you say ?……it was:

“Were you near that horse when it kicked ya?”

A classic and timeless quip. It seems however that Wicklow Co.Council have decided to combat the problem of horse-kicking in the county.

What a pity it’s nearly 20 years too late for Oasis FC – but from what I know, there’s a new generation of players coming through…maybe they’ll benefit from a bit of ‘horse control’

Sorry – can’t read the small print without the glasses…..

One eye too many

There has been several 3rd eye instances since the launch here recently – special thanks to Rabbit, El Sec and Phil O’Delfia for their contributions.

As El Sec mentioned in his previous circulation to members – El Prez and A.P.(Tony) Come-ins attended the hallowed turf of Elland rd – more charitable work.

Philanthropist wing-man (AP Come-ins) on this occasion was assigned the role of photographer – a hasty decision made over a lemonade in OTC HQ the previous week.

He tried his best God love him …. the photos of shuffling feet on route to our seats, mixed with some of floodlight glare and empty seats meant that El Prez resorted to commissioning a self portrait – just to prove we were there, at the expense of our sponsor… Ann Winters.

My wing-man did try to meet with Ken Bates himself however – but was refused. Maybe they wanted to avoid the publicity…….

“Cummins meets Master Bates at Elland Road”

That’s it for now gents – remember not to confuse your 3rd eye with the 3rd eye.

Important Notice

I came across this on a notice board today…………..I don’t think it’s a coincidence when taken into yesterdays context. These are only some of the resources the committee endeavour to provide to past members of Oasis and their families. Rabbit, you can only run so much…………Tom K is waiting for the call. Hop to it!!!!!!

3rd eye re-visited…………..

Things could not have gone any better. Since the introduction of our new catagorie “3rd Eye” we have succesfully come across certain members of Oasis. One member however has continually come on the radar. Yes……. the Rabbit…….. El Bandito……Barry. Today, Saturday, El Prez and myself had a meeting at HQ to discuss upcoming events and fund raisers. Both of us finished our Britvic 55′s and proceeded to the adjacent off-licence for further purchases – namely, some Tropicano pineapple. Before entering, the above mentioned was “caught” exiting the establishment with alcoholic beverages. Not only did he have a 6-pack in his right hand……………….observe the other in his left. I will leave the noted expression of surprise to El Prez to explain. Be noted………….we are watching………………

Oasis…….3rd eye

It’s been quite a long time since we’ve posted anything. So, I’d like to start with this new catagory that can be updated by members. It’s the 3rd Eye. Some people call it stalking but my parole officer doesn’t allow me to call it that.  I think my powers are slowly returning!!!!!!!

El Prez munching free sambos at 1 year birthday of Bray swimming pool ( some things never change )……………..

Barry T heading into Tesco 9.20am last Saturday morning……….

Jake and Murf passing Kate’s Korner two Sats ago bumping into El Sec on way home from Scoopies……….

Nowww……………who else can I stalk!!!!!!!

Snapshot in time…..Oasis FC

click here for team photo Oasis FC 1991-92

click here for TJ kick

Based on some extensive research and carbon dating techniques, funded by the OTC, best estimates for the time period of the above photo is Dec 91/ Jan 92.

This particular year concluded with another League title, and 2 runner-up Cup medals……

92/93 Season followed – with Runners-up in the league Div 1

http://www.ucfl.ie/rollofhonours_cup.html

Thanks to Johnny for the snap !! – and good to see those night classes in English are helping you….

No – you didn’t think you’d be let off easily did you ???

Tony – let me guess, this is where Cantona got the idea yeah????

Garry – dedicated follower of fashion………no wonder you left the country

Dave – a JB wanna-be ?

Pete – you know where I live, so I’ll keep it tame ….must have been a good-hair-day then?

Teabag – ce pasa amigo ?

Jake – In those days it was normal to look like a greyhound

Deano – time of the month was it ?

JB – el Chiefo, you were half the man you are now

Sean – as above

Sid – as above

Aidan – real life cartoon character

Barry – you get lucky, I’ve run out of ….

Don’t let talent go down the tube…

I like to keep a breast….of current trends, new theories..etc and while reading my favourite mag.. I came upon the following – it’s all to do with employee assessment and talent management. I think we can all learn something from this ..

don’t let talent go down the tube….

(time to learn about the Peter Principle => google it…. (Chief knows all about it)

While we’re on the subject of Talented people – let’s make a reference to OTC…
here’s what Vic Dulewicz, an occupational psychologist and emeritus professor at Henley Business School has to say (PM Guide to Assessment Pg22 Oct 2008):

Even the people who have the biggest effect on performance – the board – are largely immune to assessment and development. It seems this is usually through a mixture of ignorance, complacency and arrogance. “The board can be a big black hole,” he says. But given the disproportionate impact that the board or one of its members can have – not to mention the cost of paying someone off – the need for rigour in selecting and developing the top team is all the greater, he points out.

- Hopefully you now understand why it’s so difficult to become a member of OTC…..

Nice rack…….

I came across this article on one of the blogs I was reading. It’s about a guy who purposefully tries to carry items through airport security in the US just to prove that the system is flawed and just for show.

During one secondary inspection, at O’Hare International Airport in Chicago, I was wearing under my shirt a spectacular, only-in-America device called a “Beerbelly,” a neoprene sling that holds a polyurethane bladder and drinking tube. The Beerbelly, designed originally to sneak alcohol—up to 80 ounces—into football games, can quite obviously be used to sneak up to 80 ounces of liquid through airport security. (The company that manufactures the Beerbelly also makes something called a “Winerack,” a bra that holds up to 25 ounces of booze and is recommended, according to the company’s Web site, for PTA meetings.) My Beerbelly, which fit comfortably over my beer belly, contained two cans’ worth of Bud Light at the time of the inspection. It went undetected. The eight-ounce bottle of water in my carry-on bag, however, was seized by the federal government.

Now………….what would I fancy wearing……………..the “beer belly” or the “wine rack”!!!!!! UUmmmm Let’s be honest……. we’ll try both.

I also came across this……..can be used while working in garden or around the house……. the beer belt I’m talking about!!!

You can find more items here. https://www.thebeerbelly.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=200%2D007

McSpunky the Chunky Monkey

From the OTC archives – the first recorded example of international recruitment….of primate Consultants.

El Sec recently posted a message and quoted this very primate (Hunky McSpunky the Chunky Monkey). Unknown to himself – El Sec had actually resurrected the career of the chunky monkey – who is now working for a multinational in Dublin….apparently he is available for hire by the hour to carry out monotonous repetitive tasks requiring minimal brain-power. Perhaps he’s a candidate for ‘special projects’ within the OTC ????

In this pic El Prez is in deep prayer while his new recruit takes a well-earned drink having carried his master up the 268 steps to the temple for daily meditation…

We’re so ugly that every day is Hallowe’en…

This is a reply to a “letter” sent into one of the freebie newspapers that a work colleague showed me and I thought the response was funny.

It comes from a female who has been living in Ireland for the last year and has dated some Irish guys which have been a disaster. She wonders are mixed relationships still too new to be accepted as normal in Ireland.

The response comes from ” Hunky McSpunky the Chunky Monkey”…. I kid you not. He says:

“The Irish are a very ugly race! But, in fairness, the Dubs are better looking than the culchies.Even the less ugly among us don’t have a patch on other nationalities. Hopefully the immigrant population ( foreign not culchies) will add some spice to the gene pool. When you add up our bad looks, poor physical make-up, our fat arses, fat bellies and ill-fitting clothes, holy pooballs, everyday is like Hallowe’en”

Trick or treat………………..